The “What is holding you back?” Series: Fear

By Isaiah O’Connor
an 8 minute read

I am going to start this series out with what I believe to be not only the biggest and most common issue we face but also the one that can underpin some of the other issues that hold us back. That issue is fear. To start off with there are a few things we need to adress when it comes to fear. The first thing we need to look at is the question is fear in and of itself bad.

Often in our culture fear is seen as a weakness and something to be completely rid of. Being fearless is often seen as a laudable trait, something to be emulated. As a matter of fact if you google “Fearless motivational posters” you will find dozens and dozens of different images all about being fearless.

There is one thing that bothers me about this though. Being fearless is not a 100% positive thing, if you have small children you will quickly understand this. It seems that children are born without fear. Sure they can be afraid of somethings, but in others they have no fear. Things like running into the street or climbing too high up trees. They have no idea of the possible consequences of their actions. This keeps the parents busy just keeping them alive. My two boys excel at this.

Fear is like pain, while unpleasant it protects us from harm. A person who feels no pain, will not know when they are injured enough to die and will not seek help, likewise, a person with no fear will walk into dangerous situations, that could cost them everything. So fear is not a bad thing, in and of itself, it is simply an early warning system. The problems come when this built-in early warning system is either ignored or goes into overdrive. Both of these can hold us back in life and in business. Ignoring fear completely can cause you to make some really bad business decisions.

For example, I have seen many people decide to dump their life savings, or worse pull money out of their retirement funds to purchase a business that they get excited about. They do not bother to do the due diligence of looking into the companies finances, sales history, sales projections, overall return on investment or even the owner’s reputation in the community. They just get excited and jump, fearlessly throwing away their money on a “Sure Fire” investment. This does not usually work out well for them in the long run. Or a company may fearlessly purchase a large amount of an item that they just know will sell well, only to have it sit in inventory for years, tying up cash flow and eventually only to be sold for at or below cost, if not simply tossed and written off. This one I know well, I have done it more than once.

So fear is to keep us safe, and a good thing, when it does just that, keeps us aware of danger so that we can take the proper steps to minimize the risk. However, we still need to take risks to get rewards. The greater the risk the greater the reward. Starting a company is a great risk, but the reward can be huge, and your overall income can be much higher than a safe 9-5 job.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill

However, fear can paralyze us as well. I remember when I was in my late teens, I went with some friends to go cliff jumping. The place where we were jumping was not too high, only about 15 or so feet high. I had jumped that high and higher before, but for some reason, I got paralyzed with fear. I could not move, even though in my head I knew it was perfectly safe. I could not get off the ledge or jump. It was the strangest feeling, as I wanted to jump but the sudden fear took over and that was it. I got down and caught my breath I do not remember if I actually jumped or not that day. I do remember eventually making the jump, but I have never forgotten, it was so out of character for me. This is an example of fear going into overdrive, it overrode my logical mind. When it comes to business it can be devastating.

In my research, I found that there are three categories of fear. Illogical, healthy, and real fear. I experienced a healthy fear. Standing on the edge of a cliff is an immediate and healthy fear. “ Real fear” is the fear of things that can happen that are not dangerous to you physically. Things like having your business fail is a real fear. Then there are illogical fears. Wild fears that defy logic, say your afraid that a meteor will drop out of the sky to kill you. I do not know how to deal with illogical fears, but I do have some ideas on how to deal with the real fears you face in business.

So how does fear hold you back in business? There are many types of fear and there are multiple articles on them I will tackle just a few here. The ones I am going to tackle are the ones that I think apply the strongest to business. These are the fear of inadequacy, the fear of failure, and the fear of change.

In my opinion, these three are tied together, by the fear of failure. If you consider we often fear we are inadequate because we are afraid to fail. It is the same with fearing change. If you change something that works, that could cause you to fail. I have personally felt these things the most in my business.

“If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.”

— Zig Ziglar

The fear of inadequacy can often cause us to avoid trying to grow. We can feel that we are not capable of handling the extra workload, and not be able to provide the best experience for our clients. Or it can cause us to avoid taking on paying jobs we have trained for but feel unskilled in. In my balloon business, there is a trend called “Organic design” I have taken a course in it, and have some of the best in the industry giving me tips. It is highly profitable, but I tend to try to talk my clients out of ordering it. Why? You may ask. I feel so inadequate with my skills I am afraid to mess it up, the fear of failure seems to be underlining it.

As for the fear of change, I have most often seen and experienced it appearing as landing in a comfort zone. When things are working well enough you do not want to make any changes. Making changes can cause things to go better or worse, and the fear of them getting worse is what holds you back. Again the fear of failure is part of this. Now it could be just me, but the fear of failure is the biggest fear that holds us back. Not only can it underline other fears, but it can be paralyzing in and of itself, just as staring off that cliff was for me. It can cause you never to make the jump into entrepreneurship. I know many people who have great talent and skills that could make the jump but never do. It is perfectly summed up by the following quote.

“If you aim at nothing you’ll hit it every time.”-Zig Ziglar

This fear can keep you from expanding your business, taking on larger clients, and trying new marketing methods. Or even, as noted, cause you to get stuck in a comfort zone, or doubt yourself.So now comes the question. How do you overcome paralyzing fear?

For me, it always helps me to analyze the fear, and quantify it. Often fear is caused by a lack of adequate information. For a simple example, when your child is afraid of the dark, the quickest way to dispell it is to turn on the light so that they can see there are no monsters. Gathering data can often shine lights on problems making them less frightening, or at least manageable.

Then, of course, there is the age-old solution of facing your fears. Acknowledge that you are afraid, and do it anyway. You may not conquer your fear the first time out, but each time you tackle your fear and succeed you start to build up confidence. When you are full of confidence you will not have room for fear. When I first started doing decore I was scared out of my mind when I landed my first big client. Now I regularly handle large orders from big clients and I do not think twice about it. I know that I can do it, I have confidence in my skills, and so I am no longer afraid.

As for the fear of failure. You need to understand that failing is normal. If you are not doing anything you will never fail. If you are failing that means you are actually doing something. There are many wealthy people who have had early businesses fail and or go bankrupt. But they got up, dusted themselves off and never gave up. They took their failure as a learning experience, grew from it, and went on to become wildly successful. I will end with this;

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

— Winston Churchill

Until next time, I remain;
Your Friendly Neighborhood Entrepreneur
Isaiah O’Connor.

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